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What Makes a Good Coach or Transparency in Coaching

My friend told me about a dream she had about me, she said I was giving and I was vulnerable in my giving, coming too close to revealing my own emotions and breakthroughs in order to help others to heal. She shared her dream just before I was getting ready to lead a workshop and that made me think about the way all of us coaches really use our own very personal stories to change people’s lives. So today I want to talk about transparency in coaching.

Whenever I am choosing a coach or a mentor to work with, I want to know a lot about them, what they lived, where they’re coming from, what made them teach what they teach. The biggest factor for me is, do they live what they preach. Saying the right words doesn’t convince me to learn from a person, only their truth does. We can spot fake for miles: we can spot un-lived preaching for miles, and when we are truly walking the path of transformation, and are not here to sabotage our efforts to make the change, we want the truth, however small it can be. But truth.

As a professional transformation facilitator I am grateful that the rules of coaching allow a great space for sharing my personal insights.

In therapy, for example, therapist is bound by the rules of non-involvement; being in-personal is a main premise for a client to vent, let go and get ready to move on. Like a blank space a therapist is there to mirror the client and give a compassionate and non-judgmental feedback. No interruptions, no advice, just a safe space to work through pain and confusion.

Coaches, on the contrary, are there to be active and personal with their clients. They are only coaches because they have a particular experience, particular expertise, and they are there to share. Relevant, of service, deliberate and strategic, a great coach can really make the difference by asking meaningful questions and answering real time requests. What you know, what you’ve been through, is your best asset, is what people come to you for.

For myself opening up and sharing my real life experience had been a journey. Not an easy one. It was only when I decided to step into my own power, accepting responsibility for living my higher purpose, that I could truly speak from my heart. And I am sorry if words like ‘higher purpose’ don’t make sense for everybody who might be reading this article, but here we are, just experiencing first hand how coaches are selected by their clients. Some words I use would just make you either want to speak with me, or turn you 180 degrees in search of another professional, who speaks the words you resonate with.

So for me becoming a leader, a role model and a teacher was in itself a life-changing process. I started teaching what I am teaching now at the age of 17. Only because I was living in the environment where facilitating personal development was an everyday kind of thing. I’ve seen it done, taught and just took the load off my father, who was a spiritual guru for many of the local and not so local spiritual seekers. You can imagine, that, though I was fluent in explaining the metaphysical theories and pretty good at listening and helping people to breakthrough their fears and blocks, there was no way I could be really understanding what was happening on the deeper level with people who were looking for answers. And I know that now, by noticing how much of what I lived, helps me to predict with a great accuracy the dynamics of some particular change my clients are looking for. Most, if not all, of the processes I offer to my clients in a form of individual coaching or an on-line course, I tested as my own attempt to be happy. If the process didn’t work for me, it is simply not going to make it to my program. And I make sure, that if I teach something, I really truly know how it works from my personal experience. And I say, why not!? Why not allow myself to be the coach, the mentor that only I can be.

There are thousands of coaches out there. I believe there is a coach for everybody, for every situation in life, for every type of breakthrough, for every step one would want to take in an amity and with the support of a wiser and more equipped companion. My dream is to be at service to the people who need me, with my perks and downfalls, my specific background and practical knowledge, who want to know how I managed to bounce back, step forward, and be what I am now. I am growing and so have more and more expertise I can share. I live my life every day, and so with having being a coach in mind, I take notes, sometimes literary writing things down, and know that the right person will come to take it and use it to be happier, open up, step into their own power. And my clients are better for that.

If you want to know what exactly my background is and how I coach, feel free to browse and watch my videos and read my blog, and, of course, if you want to learn from me and with me, set up a discovery call to see if we click.

As you know now, I love working with people who totally click with me.

Lira Kanaan

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